Chapter 12

Matriarch

    My big reveal to Laurie was dramatically interrupted by Mercedes, who looked to be a bit more unhinged than I ever remember her being.  “Dr. Felter and I, have had so many interesting facts come to us in the past several hours.”  She absolutely beamed with pride.  I was more than a little happy to hear that some answers were coming.  I think Laurie was happy now that we spent God knows how long actually learning each other’s full names.  I was about to simply walk off from Mercedes despite how rude it was, before she managed to flap her arms subtly enough to let me know more information was coming.  

    “We have learned that dreaming is a way in which the non-physical portion of our selves, can travel and exist in other places.  Depending on the nature of the dream, one can even will a body of flesh to exist within the confines of that dream world.  However, using a gate makes the whole process real in the space we occupy and in the time we teleport.  Sometimes...your mind can splinter into another place, and you can start an entire new life, in an entirely new world.”  She explained all of this at a pace that was really hard to follow to the letter.  She kept trying to think of analogies to frame the whole thing, but it was like trying to explain biochemistry in a paragraph.  Kind of like how the author just tried. 

    Efficacy is rarely enjoyed by those of us willing to try to teach things beyond the mundane.  Apparently, teleportation using the actual physical gates will begin the process of splintering the mind such that travel becomes possible independent of the machine.  I think Clarence, Laurie, and I were all pushed into a teleporter by Thomas.  We were all trying to figure out where we actually existed.  What in the hell were Laurie and Clarence even going through?  It is hard to know such a complex question when such complex things were happening to three people at once.  It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it was simply that I was unable.  And what time we had together, I think, we had to make less insufferable than trying to unravel this ugly rubber band ball. 

    The rest of the day was spent in a calm state of recovery.  I was notified that I would be sleeping in the loft for certain this evening.  Ralph did not look to be in a compromising mood about letting me sleep elsewhere.  Monica assured me that I would be safest in this place.  There was no telling where my dream state energy could be pushed, but it could be the surface of the sun.  I ate my meals in silence with Laurie, Clarence, Dayton, and Monica.  We were doing our best to try to keep a low profile, as it seemed as though the rest of the camp were giving us accusatory stares for our little outing.  All that effort and we didn’t even get Dayton the snacks he wanted.  Sometimes justice is just a pipe dream. 

    After dinner, I went to play a bit of tether ball with Clarence outside of the lodge where the metal pole stood.  It seemed like one of those games you play where the outcome of the match was the last thing either player cared about.  We also couldn’t break a strange silence that was lingering, or the fear that Thomas’ arrival was coming very soon.  Mercedes interrupted our second match to talk to Clarence.  She said she would have him back in a minute, but I really didn’t feel like waiting around.  My own feelings of fear and mistrust were forming a speculative conversation in my head about what they could be talking about.  The fact that the two of them seemed to be getting closer gave me a better feeling that it wasn’t about me.  Sometimes I really worry when it is about me.  Given what Thomas was after, it doesn’t take much to worry. 

    I was sitting on a large rock in front of my cabin when I saw Clarence again.  He approached me with the look of a person who had very interesting news.  “Remember when Thomas first teleported us to your house?  You know, when it was turned to an ash pile.”  He tried to present a tone of sincerity and empathy.  Clarence didn’t know that I saw Thomas order the deed while I was in ghost mode or whatever you might call it.  “Yes?” I replied suddenly overtaken with curiosity.  “Thomas was looking for something, something that I think that you might have lost.”  Now the curiosity was taking a near burning sensation. 

    I always assumed he was looking for that ruby that got lodged into my hand a for a short (but exciting!) time.  “I guess an artifact was passed into your possession from your father.  It was something you had but never knew what it was.”  I did my best to recall anything my father left to me after his heart attack in late 2014.  He left a pile of junk including a lot of cultural relics from the 1980’s, some tacky furniture, and the money to buy a house along with a ton of impulse purchases.  I am not going to lie; I did spend a lot of money on impulse purchasing.  What can I say?  I am a typical American consumer. 

    “Think Johnny!”  Clarence said, bringing my thoughts back into focus.  The only thing that was missing was an old box of junk from my father’s more sentimental collection.  One of the items included were stolen from me several months before this whole ordeal started.   Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  “My father’s old ring!” I shouted this way louder than I intended to, but the look on Clarence’s face immediately recognized the importance of the item that was stolen.  Clarence tapped his chin thoughtfully and asked if I knew where it was.  I explained that it was stolen with very little else.  Whomever burglarized my house that evening, didn’t take anything of value other than that ring.  The ring was a simple gold band with a small...ruby in the center.  Oh Boy. 

    I tried filling out a police report, but they told me that there was precious little information available.  There were no nearby cameras and none of the neighbors were home or witness to the event.  Also, given the fact that the ruby couldn’t have been worth that much money, it meant that theft wasn’t as much of a priority.  The party which entered, came in through one of my downstairs windows that I had left open.  Good news / Bad news situation.  The bad news was that there was an important relic that was nowhere to be found.  The good news was that Thomas didn’t have it.  I was struggling to find the connection between rubies and the whole teleportation thing.  It seemed like a silly motif to me. 

    Clarence marched off to spread the news that something went missing before my whole ordeal in July of 2017.  I spent most of the evening relaxing in the cabin trying to avoid the sun, too many conversations, and the challenges of making wartime preparations.  My time in the purple place caused me a great deal of both physical pain and mental anguish.  It was like running out of energy, pain tolerance, and joy – and it really was not pleasant.  Laurie did check up on me while I was in the cabin.  Her face did brighten my day.    

    “I have been talking to Monica quite a bit about your condition, and where your dreams have taken you.”  She seemed to be trying to understand something truly unusual, which is a great description of where my dream travels had taken me. “It is no place for a picnic,” I said forcing a smile the best I could.  The look of pity on her face told me not to bother.  “I have been having some strange dreams of my own Johnny.  I have not mentioned any of them to you.  Clarence a bit.  But not you.  I was afraid to worry you.”  I wasn’t sure where she was going with this, but it did fill me up with a bit of anxiety, maybe quite a bit of it.  She joined me on a pile of pillows on the floor of the cabin. 

    There were veils that obscured the sunlight into the cabin, and the interior light of the cabin was off.  These cabins were the size of a very small studio apartment mind you.  Her features were heavily shadowed, but I could tell they were still laden with concern.  There were several seconds of silence that introduced whatever bombshells were coming my way.  “My dreams have been about you and well...us.”  She gulped and shivered a bit.  I wanted to hold her close, but my skin felt ravaged from the dream I had left.  She seemed to be aware but didn’t appear to be in the mood for that right now anyway. 

    “I keep seeing myself with you Johnny, and you aren’t the same person.  You are becoming increasingly bitter and hateful.  I keep imagining you snapping at every word I say and losing your self-control at every moment.”  The crestfallen look that stole my countenance was obvious even in the dimly lit cabin.  She gave me the look you might offer to a child that scraped his knee.  Maybe a child that was pushed down a hill wrapped in barbed wire.  I started to smile in amusement a bit at that sadistic thought.  I hadn’t meant it, but I was sure that Laurie picked it up as a sign that she was on to something.  “I am fine Laurie; I just need some time to work through-” she cut me off by holding up her finger. 

    “It isn’t that I don’t care about you, or that I believe that you are changing.  It is just that the dreams keep coming, and you do all kinds of sick and violent things in those dreams.  It is like I am a spectator, in a horrible television show that you are the star of.”  She looked to be holding back fear or tears.  Maybe both.  I had no clue that she was having these kinds of dreams.  “Have you told Clarence about these dreams?” I asked her, hoping that he would come to my defense.  She slowly nodded her head.  “He thinks you might be changing as well.”  I suddenly felt very alone, and vilified.  Nothing going on here felt like something I had an ounce of control over.  

    “They are just dreams though.” She added hopefully with a bit of a hopeful smile.  She waited another moment before changing tones.  “Clarence told me that he wasn’t having dreams at all.  Frankly, I didn’t believe him.”  Interesting – Neither did I.  He probably didn’t want to worry anyone about it.   “Did you talk to Vicky about these dreams?"  Laurie sighed and said, “Vicky has been all but locked up in David’s cabin.  I haven’t really seen her at all.”  I have no idea what it means.  I wanted to tell Laurie about what Vicky had told me, but I remembered agreeing to not mention anything to Laurie.  I had to just hope and pray that David was keeping it together.  “We need to go down to the cafeteria to eat something.  Karl said he made you a plate of his famous meat loaf.  Let’s just have a calm evening, eat well, and sleep in that stasis thing they have planned for you.”  I let Laurie go ahead of me. 

    I remained in the cabin for a few minutes after she departed.  The idea of her secret fear of me was tearing me apart.  The fact that Clarence shared that feeling instead of just denying it made me feel a bit betrayed.  I mean, how do they know what I am going through?  I started to grind my teeth, and I could feel my vision going into tunnel mode.  I turned over some of the pillows and began unleashing a volley of punches on them.  It did very little to mitigate the rage I was feeling.  After a few seconds of thrashing them, I turned to something more substantial.  I started punching the floorboards of the cabin with great gusto.  I was surprised by the fist marks that I made in the wood.  Enough so that cuts and splinters in my hands were markers of personal pride.  I covered the dented wood with a pillow and walked to the bathroom to wash my hands off. 

    Walking to the bathroom building gave me a chance to see Don Camden.  He gave me a bit of a concerned look when he saw me.  The feelings of unsettled anger, fear, and confusion must have been a bit more obvious coming from me than I realized.  He weakly offered me a wave, and I croaked out a meager, “Hello Don,” as I passed him.  The bits of wood and blood washed off my hands easily, and I wiped my hands slowly with a rough paper towel.  The adrenaline had passed and the discomfort in my hand and skin was returning to its original state.  The reflection in the mirror wasn’t the object I hated like the last time I saw myself, but I could see a sicklier version of myself.  My skin felt sunburned but looked pale, like I was recovering from a very serious flu. 

    When I did make it down to the lodge then eventually the cafeteria, we had a splendid meal that night.   It was Sunday night.   I wasn’t sure if I lost or gained a day.  Time was becoming more a matter of Tuesday or not Tuesday.  Laurie, Clarence, Dayton, Monica, and even Mercedes were all sitting together waiting for this supposedly epic meatloaf that Karl was making.  At first the talk was small and awkward, but eventually the mood was lightened by Dayton by describing milk as “cow’s titty juice.”  One thing led to another, and the conversation had everyone in much better spirits.  Even I was laughing and making jokes of one kind or another.  And yes, Karl’s meatloaf was as epic as advertised.  Legendary even. 

    After dinner, and some board games that were left around.  Most of them were missing pieces of some kind.  Boy that gets my goat, when someone steals the battleship from a Monopoly set.  Despite settling for inferior game pieces, we had a great time until it was time for sleep.  Everyone was sleeping in cots placed in a circle right below the loft.  The loft had really steep wooden steps leading up to it.  It was a fair height about the rest of the group and wasn’t a huge area.  It looked like athletic equipment was originally stored here, and now another pile of pillows was set up.  There were also bowls of oils, incense burners, and even a pair of candelabras set up on opposite sides of the loft.  It kind of made me feel important for such a spread just for the purpose of going to sleep.  While getting comfortable, many of the group were singing strange songs that were somehow incredibly soothing.  It made the process of falling asleep rather pleasant. 

I was incredibly surprised when Monday morning arrived without any incident.  My sleep wasn’t even completely dream free.  I had a dream about surfing with my childhood dog while trying to study for a big math test.  In the end my dog agreed to follow me to school and eat the math test before I could turn it in.  What a good boy! 

    Monday morning was filled with an ominous silence that followed everyone around.  No conversation seemed to want to last more than a few words or even a few grunts.  Laurie, Clarence, and I went swimming in the late morning.  Given that it was a really hot day, it was a welcome break even if it seemed like the mood was spoiled.  Clarence did a great job of breaking up the mood by telling me that he would protect me from the worst if evil came my way.  I gave him a confused look when he told me that he would guarantee my safety.  He said, “they can’t get what they can’t see!” He then proceeded to dunk me under the water in the lake for a few seconds.  When I wriggled free and burst up from the water, I began laughing and sputtering out water.  Laurie giggled madly as Clarence had a broad grin on his face.  At least I had good friends around me. 

    It was at lunch when things really turned out interesting.  Ralph approached me looking excited and eager to tell me something after I finished a wonderful tuna sandwich.  “You have a guest that I wasn’t expecting to see.”  He studied my face to see if I had a clue where he was going with this.   I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach like someone that I cared about was suddenly present and here to support me.  As the words came out of his mouth, the truth hit me simultaneously.  “Your mother is here to see you, Johnny!” 

 

    I put down my sandwich and followed Ralph out of the cafeteria and toward the parking lot.  Laurie and Clarence must have thought it better to hang back while I saw the person that meant the most to me in the entire world.  Not that I play favorites, but I am a bit of a “momma’s boy.”  The warmth of the sun felt inviting, the irritation on my skin departed, and a surge of hope filled me.  I saw my mother’s hatchback pulled into one of the parking spaces not far from Dayton’s ride.  The car appeared to be scratched and dented in numerous places.  It looked like my mother had a story of her own. 

    There was nothing that could have prepared me for the sight of my mother.  She looked worn down, exhausted, and somehow more hardened than I had ever seen her.  The look of vivacious femininity was erased by hardship, catastrophe, and trauma.  Standing next to her was her neighbor, Charlie.  He had a shotgun harnessed on his back and looked like he had several bandages that he had acquired quite recently.  Charlie backed away and walked toward Ralph so the two of them might consult and compare notes.  This left my mother and I alone to catch up and try to reconcile a world that put a whole lot of death between us. 

    Her eyes teared up at the sight of me.  “Oh Johnny, my precious little boy.”  She shuffled toward me for motioning for a tight embrace.  I wasted no time in meeting her.  I would have been embarrassed that she spoke to me that way, but my ego was far from my priority in this situation.  We hugged each other and held each other for a long and wonderful minute.  As I held her, I could see Charlie nod toward me, and I repeated the motion appreciatively.  “Are you ok?  Have you been hurt?  Has anyone tried to hurt you?”  My mother blasted me with more questions than I could hope to answer quickly.  Once our embrace concluded, we walked toward the lodge and sat on one of benches.   

    I spent the better part of an hour explaining my story in as much detail as I could give without worrying her too much.  I tried to downplay the dream quest parts of my story as much as possible.  It just didn’t seem to be a rational way to tell a story about what happened during the wild summer of 2020.  She gasped and cried at all the right parts of the story.  She also seemed to develop a quick fondness for Laurie and Clarence.  I had a feeling that my mother was going to bombard Laurie with more questions and inquiries.   My mother could be a bit protective before the Armageddon.  Now...it seemed to hit a higher than usual point. 

    Once I got everything out and answered like 500 questions, I could get what I was looking for; her story.  “Well in late June, things got strange in our old neighborhood.  People were roaming around at night, causing all kinds of trouble, and vandalizing anything that resembled a pleasant sight.”  She looked like a neurotic old person trying to shake off the memory of every kid in the neighborhood treading on the grass.  She was always a tidy woman who liked everything in its place and valued things like symmetry and manicured lawns.  “It got worse every night this summer, and I became increasingly terrified to speak out to anyone engaging in the antics.  And people were getting more bold and violent by the second.”  She stared off with a forlorn look that really illustrated her fear manifesting.  I really felt bad for her. 

    “Charlie was about the only person in the neighborhood that seemed to have his head on straight.  I was still confident that I would be okay if I just stayed inside and kept to myself.  Eventually Charlie and I were staying together when things reached a boiling point.”  She sighed and straightened herself to maintain her composure.  I almost smiled at the thought that Charlie was there for her.  She really needed someone to look after her, but the situation was a little too dire to take any joy from it.”  She drew a bottle of water she had with her up to her lips before continuing her story.  “It all became too much when the local news channel went crazy.”  I gave her a confused look, but she barely paused.  

    “William and Cheryl (the local news anchors) started kissing each other on camera that didn’t seem appropriate for the news team.  I know that William Barnes is married which made the whole matter just sorted.”  I was puzzled why this would be the straw that broke the camel's back.  My mother continued, “out of nowhere, Cheryl took a pen off the desk and jammed it right up William’s nose full force.”  She shuddered violently, which caused me to put my arms around her to comfort her.  “William just kept laughing and trying to kiss her with blood gushing out of his nose.  It was the most disturbing thing I had ever seen.”  My mother backed away from my touch and folded her arms in stoic disapproval of the news team's scandalous behavior.  

    Moments later it dawned on me to ask, “were their eyes different in any way?  Like glowing yellow or something?”  I already knew the answer, but my mother nodded grimly.  I think she got the impression that the people on the local news were far from themselves during that broadcast.  “Once Charlie and I saw that on the news, we started packing to get as far away from the city and the neighborhood as possible.  We didn’t have a destination, but we were sure that we would be in trouble if we stayed where we were.”  My mother seemed a bit lost in her next thoughts.  I was still confused about how she ended up at this camp.  I wouldn’t have to wait long for an explanation. 

    “Someone stuck a letter in our mailbox while we were trying to make plans to get away.  It was then we discovered that one of your doctors, a doctor, uh... Bal... Balkra...”  She trailed off making the same mistake I made about the good doctor’s surname.   She was talking about Doctor Sprinkles.  I let out a pleased exhale that he came through for my mother as well as me.  Despite the lack of respect that I showed him; the doctor really did care for people and was a far better person than I was.  “Balakrishnan,” I corrected.  My mother made a sound of acknowledgement.  “The doctor had to give me written directions on how to get here.  The web is down Johnny, and I wasn’t too tech savvy before civilization started to collapse.”  Personally, I wasn’t sure the web was technically down, but at least, the smart devices that we relied on were having issues. 

    My mother continued to explain her journey, which involved staying in a few places were contacts working with the camp had aided her in her journey to this camp.  I guess CB and Ham radio were two functional technologies that made communication possible within this group.  Her story was certainly interesting, and she kept speaking highly of Charlie.  I guess he was able to scare off unruly punks, be wary of danger, and guided my mother through all the traps that she might have otherwise fell into.  I was glad that he stuck by her, and that he was part of the camp.  I never thought about having a stepfather before, but it wasn’t a thought that completely bothered me where he was concerned.  I was engrossed in her story for a few more minutes when I saw Laurie sneak up on us. 

    My mother has a great sense of intuition and immediately knew who Laurie was.  She grinned genuinely for the first time since I saw her.  She and Laurie shared hugs, smiles, and banter immediately.  It was only seconds before I was in the background of the conversation and could sit back and watch these two socialize.  I will admit that the conversations got embarrassing at times.  Luckily, there were no embarrassing family photographs that could be used to humiliate me.  There were stories of course, but I denied what I could.  Hey!  I must at least TRY to look cool to my love interest.   

    Afternoon turned to evening, and we came in and enjoyed dinner.  My mother also seemed to adore Clarence.  She asked him a number of awkward questions about being black that embarrassed me to no end.  I spent most of their conversation locked in a face palm that seemed to never end.  I still think that Clarence got some kind of kick out of it.  My mother was at least well intentioned when she told Clarence that things like, “slavery was just awful.  It was terrible what your people went through.”  I mean she was right, but it just seemed like the kind of thing that goes without saying.  Still, Clarence was still unafraid to share what the African American experience is and was like.  Maybe I have no idea conversation topics are taboo or maybe the conversation really is worth having. 

    During our meal, my mother asked me the strangest question she has ever asked me.  “Have you been having trouble sleeping, or with bad dreams?” When she asked, I almost choked on my carrots.  I suppose there is some kind of intuition that comes with a mother knowing what her child’s problems on, but this bordered on the surreal.  I took a moment to compose myself.  “Well Mom, it has been kind of hard to explain but I am not sure if you would even believe me.”  She leaned in, very interested in what I had to say with hardly a look of doubt on her face.  Given what has been going on, nothing is out of the realm of possibility these days.  

    I cleared my throat lightly and continued, “someway, somehow, my dreams have been connected with time travel and the ability to other places or even other times.”  I looked at her expecting to see some kind of confusion or disbelief, but she just kept looking at me like she wanted me to continue.  That is how my mother is; she is the type who will actually let you finish what you started saying.  It is surprising how rare that is. (social commentary aside) “I was able to even recover items and objects.  I even had this ruby...”  I started to trail off in enraptured by the thought of having superpowers again.  Boy, would I like to pop ol Thomas in the eye one good.  “...well, it gave me super strength.”  I gave her a chance to react, and she said a typical mom thing. “I always thought you were super strong honey.” She tipped her head upward in a joking fake smug look of superiority.   Like her lady parts did some kind of wonder job. 

    After a second of trying to be cute, she regained control of the conversation and told me in a more sober tone, “your father was always getting caught up in his dreams, you know.”  The amusement I gathered from her faded quickly at the mention of the old man.  Anything that compared me with him usually meant that danger was somehow the topic of discussion.  “I am doing my best to be careful mom, but a lot of people are counting on me.”  She sighed as if she knew a whole lot more than she was letting on.  “People were always asking your father about his dreams.  Some folks would even tell me that they spoke to him at length in their dreams.”  I immediately became more puzzled than a Rubix cube.  

    She waited a second for me to catch on.  “He said he would know just what he said to them in the dreams.  It really weirded some people out.  It was like he couldn’t get enough socializing with people in his waking life, so he had to do it while he was sleeping.”  I stared at her with eyes hungry for more information.  This seemed incredibly relevant to what was going on, and more than a small detail to have omitted in my life prior to this moment.  “What did he say to them?”  It was the first thing I could think to ask after getting so much pertinent information.  “To be honest... I don’t know a whole lot of what he said, or who he said it to.  Just people I guess.”  I wanted more information, but I had to settle with what I had.  

    “I think your father knew you were going to have the same problem that he had before things took a turn for the worse.”  My mother gave me a look of deep concern.  I grimaced a bit but retained eye contact with her.  “He told me that if you ever became lost in your dreams, that you should keep fighting like your life is always on the line.  Find the strength in your mind to not let the worst parts of your nightmares drag you in.”  She seemed like she might have been paraphrasing a bit, but the message was kind of clear.  One more thing seemed like it needed to be addressed. 

    “Mom; have you ever heard of a man called Thomas Balthazar?”  I asked her fearful of almost anything she might say next.  Her face took on the appearance of having swallowed a lemon before her gaze cast downward.  I instantly knew that she knew something.  “Johnny, there are some things that I cannot tell you right now.  You just aren’t ready to hear everything.”  I bit my lip briefly then began, “there must be something you can tell me that can help.  This man means to kill everyone at this camp!  Who is he?” She took a step backward partially out of shame and partially out of increasingly disturbed energy.  I knew I had to at least try to be delicate here. 

    “What I can tell you is that your father left unfinished business, and Thomas is relevant to that business.  It is something that you must finish.”  I instantly felt burdened by whatever my father had done during his life that made him such a powerful and dangerous enemy.  Any kind of information I could weaponize against my antagonist was greatly required, and post haste.  My mother’s uncomfortably shifting legs told me that this conversation had reached its natural limit.  I tried to find a comfortable exit strategy, so that the conversation didn’t end with me trying to pump information from my mother. 

    David McCallister was that option as he moved at an ambulatory pace downward to where we were situated.  “Why hello!  Nice to make your acquaintance!”  He greeted my mother with his usual merriment and pleasant demeanor.  “It was good talking to you Johnny.” My mother said before she left to chat with David.  I was left alone with my thoughts for a few moments.  Was Thomas my uncle or something?  Was there some other weird explanation that might put things in perspective?  I knew that because of what my mother said that a great revelation was in store for me.  One that would open my eyes to my enemy and one to my father.